I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize