Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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