I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
zippers are such a cool invention
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
