Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize