Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
