i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
