onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
