I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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