Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
