I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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