How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
