he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
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Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
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I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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