I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
