Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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