literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
