just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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