I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
