is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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