Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
