I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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