Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
