It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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