I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
