I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
