Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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