remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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