The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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