thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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