and you said cock pushups were impossible
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
