They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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