Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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