she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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