i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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