so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
