Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize