I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
