Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
