She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
