I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Drunk is not a location!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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