That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
