white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
