Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
