I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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