Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
