So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
