..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am