Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.

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(303): Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe. http://tfl.nu/e8mh

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(214): View more from Texas

Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.

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(214): Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry. http://tfl.nu/h3dm

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A

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(814): I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A http://tfl.nu/j0fk

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.

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(262): I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day. http://tfl.nu/uzwr

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha

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(203): I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha http://tfl.nu/635d

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(919): View more from North Carolina

the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.

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(919): the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's. http://tfl.nu/kqcw

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team

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(978): i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team http://tfl.nu/fnfy

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.

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(401): I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes. http://tfl.nu/a6fu

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(714): View more from California

we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet

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(714): we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet http://tfl.nu/qhid

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.

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(414): I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions. http://tfl.nu/so75

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(651): View more from Minnesota

That bitch ruined vodka saturday

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(651): That bitch ruined vodka saturday http://tfl.nu/2db3

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(928): View more from Arizona

My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.

(308): View more from Nebraska

Pass the awkward sauce please.

(928): View more from Arizona

I'm drowning in it here

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(928): My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking. (308): Pass the awkward sauce please. (928): I'm drowning in it here http://tfl.nu/qbnt

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?

(301): View more from Maryland

just fucking run.

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(304): i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape? (301): just fucking run. http://tfl.nu/0wzu

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety

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(931): Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety http://tfl.nu/hne4

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(206): View more from Washington

You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke

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(206): You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke http://tfl.nu/er3q

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