What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES