the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Testing the emergency boobs hotline