The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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