Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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