She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
