Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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