well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
