i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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