you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
