Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
