Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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