No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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