You're my little dorito
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize