And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
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Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
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There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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