You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
her vagine was all disorganized.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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