Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize